Mystify, Dramatize, Ponder

shezzowicked18

What ever happened to secrecy? If you were told to not tell a secret would you tell on someone? Especially if that secret is supposed to stay secret cause of some consequences that may occur once the secret comes out or gets into the knowledge of some people?

I told two people about my secret. This secret involves not only me but someone very very dear to me as well. Lets name the male person PP, and the female KK. I also told JR, who Im most definetly sure would not tell anyone. PP, one of my most trusted friends, I am not sure if he told someone. Of KK, she told two people, the very next day, well its okay since these two people are close to me as well, I ll name them PE and CC. Now I got the knowledge that CC told two people, which made me angry, she told GR who does not know how to keep his mouth shut, and LL who I am not in speaking terms with.

PE, Im sure did not tell anyone, well I hope. So either PP is lying or KK is lying or both of them are. GG and AA, two friends who were told did not answer when I asked them who told them. Man, talk about covering up. This makes me so pissed, distraught even.

I cant believe that they would do that. Other secrets are okay but this one is different, a life-changing secret.

Talk about a sense of betraya and distrust.

shezzowicked18

Just watched the Chris Brown Rihanna Concert last night...

AND DID IT ROCK! Hahahha... Dang, I wanna learn how move the way Chris Brown does it. They both got the crowd working to a frenzy, even after CB's turn took its toll on the people, Rihanna was still able to get the crowd roaring for her part of the show.

One thing, I'm so glad Cam convinced me that we should get gold tickets instead of silver. I mean theres this huge difference if your in gold and platinum, haha... I can see the platinum people looking all posh and frivolous struting their pride while at our backs the silver people wishing they were at our places. Much more to say for the bronze people.

I hope they do get to perform here again, I would gladly scrap some cash wherever I can get just to watch it again, dont care if we stood there for 5 hours and got a hard time to get a cab (we were actually very lucky to get a cab after 3 tries).

Again, Hearts all over the world tonight!

shezzowicked18

At long last I am able to find time to write an entry here...

It has been how long? Four months?

Anyway...

Here I am, still in school, I really should create a group for procrastinators.

Family, well, same old same old. Friends, some are prohibited to be with while others are still around and some new ones.

Love, doing good. I am in love, yup, in love in love in love, and yeah she is the same girl I have been dramatizing about in this blog for the past months, and we are so in love that we hope to marry after all this has been settled.

For now this is it. See you guys at the Chris Brown Rihanna concert! Gold area!

shezzowicked18

My mother warned me about this type of girl, ever since I was young.

So did my father. The girls warned me about her when they met her. The boys saw something else and warned me about her after they got to spend time with her.

Those close to me kept hammering into me why I should turn her away.

"She's inconsistent and unfair", said one.

"She keeps on hurting you and your too blind and stupid to see", said another.

"I didn't like her the moment you told me what she did so quit it", said the other.

My reply was summed up in this statement:

" I know that she can be mostly what you said, I know that she hurt me over and over, that I have experienced such torment and bouts of haunting depression. I've be pained physically, emotionally, even psychologically, my heart taking it all in somehow. Even through all this, I keep coming back. You all ask me why? That answer is complex as it is simple, " I love her so damn much... "

Like my friend said(the only one who understood), " You love her, just be careful and don't get yourself hurt you stupid lovestruck emo". Guess I am a Lovestruck fool.

I'm a martyr not a saint... Imperfect, but perfect through undying love, which may one day be hurt in a drastic finale, but even so the prospect is there, I hold on, for she might be the one.

shezzowicked18

Slowly getting angry...

Still depressed...

Beginning to hate again...